Navigating life as a mother of two (Personal update)

Now having a second baby it’s like I have to relearn everything all over again! And my brain now has to make room yet again for a life with a second baby. A lot of it I know already but it’s the management of two children and their needs and wants that’s so difficult.

Biggest challenge at the moment - navigating life as a mother of two and adjusting/balancing to the needs of everyone… 😰😳🤯

I remember after I had Zoe feeling how my brain had to now make space for a completely different compartment called LIFE WITH A BABY. Sleep patterns, nappies, clothes, breastfeeding, developmental checks and vaccines, soothing, toys, appointments, schedules, prams, starting solids and all the other STUFF that I never had to think about before having a baby! What a mindf*ck! But I got used to it with the help of all the books I read, online research, other mums, mums groups etc. It was really hard but got so much easier day by day and after the first year it was a breeze.

Now having a second baby it’s like I have to relearn everything all over again! And my brain now has to make room yet again for a LIFE WITH A SECOND BABY. A lot of it I know already but it’s the management of two children and their needs and wants that’s so difficult. And, of course, you gotta take care of your own needs and wants too 🥶🥵😰

And look, I’m a great planner and optimizer but this is yet again such a mindf*ck that some days I just sit there thinking about how to think about this whole juggle. So crazy! Mornings are crazy. Evenings are crazy. Middle of days are fine because Zoe is at daycare and I’m with Eva but that’s still crazy because she wants to breastfeed every 2 hours, cries in the car, and it’s just all so demanding of me…

On top of that, add the household management that falls on me (or, rather, I want it to fall on me because String doesn’t care whether we wash underwear with socks or dark with white or what we eat for breakfast, lunch or dinner... he would just eat sourdough toast all day every day 😰)

Then there is the shopping for clothes, nappies, furniture, toys and all the other crap. Then there are weekend and playdates to organize, and trips and events for a family of 4. (Don’t forget Zoe’s snacks and shoes and a sun hat! Oh, where is the damn sunscreen?!) Trips to the beach take forever and there is so much STUFF TO CARRY, it’s insane.

Wait, wait, there is more… I now am planning to come back to work 2 half days a week! So looking for a nanny who has the experience, who you can trust, who is gentle and caring.

Oh, and in the middle of all of that I want to go to yoga and pilates, do my hair and get massages and also do makeup (this morning that happened in the car!) and be stylish and fashionable.

So, friends, this is so challenging that I signed up for a time management for women (mostly mums) course! 😅✨🎉 I can’t believe that so many women just figure this out and get on with life. And I know so many of these amazing mums  just forget about themselves, put themselves last, forget about their relationships, their men, their bodies and their souls. No wonder women are anxious, can’t find a good man, feel depleted and constantly exhausted!

I’m on a mission to figure this out (well, I kind of was on this mission for a few years now… a second child is just adding a lot of depth and dimension to my work with women and my message…) I need to get some sleep first, although, Eva slept through for the first time today 8 pm to 6 am 😱😱🙏🙏🙏)

Because this is the lie of female success that I keep banging on about in my work. We are expected (and mostly expect this from ourselves) to do it all and it crushes us. As much as it was terrible that out mothers and grandmothers did not have all the rights and opportunities that are available to us today, they also didn’t have to deal with the mindf*ck of being a mum and having to work and pursue our passions.

This is the modern woman’s biggest challenge.

Shall we solve it together?

  • got a chef who cooks meals for us 5 days a week
  • do laundry only on weekend
  • have cleaners who come in every 2 weeks to clean the house
  • go to mums and bubs pilates - yoga and exercise are non-negotiables for me
  • have a bath at least once a week
  • multi-tasking: listening and watching podcasts/training etx while doing chores, driving, walking
  • have a 90-min massage every two weeks
  • get free and paid help with the kids when needed
  • take time for myself without feeling guilty
  • make it a non-negotiable to dress well and put on makeup every day even if just to drop off Zoe at daycare or go to the market
  • prioritize and never forget my relationship with String and maintaining polarity. On Saturdays when Zoe is asleep (or watching cartoons) and Eva is also asleep, String and I have “intimacy time” which doesn’t always lead to sex but is sinply our time to be with each. This leads to sex more times than not. In fact, without some planning and deliberate time “for us” we’d probably have sex once every 3 months because you just get caught up in life 😱😰😰
  • always remember ”happy wife, happy life.” I prioritize me then my relationship with String then the kids. If I’m happy, String and I are happy. If String and I are happy, the children are happy. (I teach this concept in our Claimed Program.)

And look, I am totally grateful that I’m able to afford a lot of this stuff (something I worked for all my life) but I believe that every woman can do at least one little thing for herself every day and feel full and happy. It looks different for every woman.

I’m curious, what has worked for you?

P.S. I just typed this whole thing and almost lost it because #batterydying yet another thing to worry about!